Tiki-taka? Inverted full-backs? False nine? Forget about all of that utter woke nonsense. As Mike Bassett perfectly put it: "Today we'll be playing four four two."
That's how you'd imagine Sean Dyche's first team talk as Manchester United manager might've gone, had he been ushered in instead of Ruben Amorim. This week, the former Burnley and Everton chief .
So in the spirit of good ol' Dyche ball, Express Sport have detailed what his anti-woke starting XI might look like if he were in charge of the 20-time English champions.
Sean Dyche's anti-woke Man Utd starting XI (4-4-2... of course)Goalkeeper: Nick Pope
Straight in there between the sticks and no messing about. A proper old-fashioned shot-stopper, whose first and only thought is making saves. There are few more suitable options than England's very own Nick Pope. No needless touches and certainly no passing out from the back.
Defence: Mazraoui, Maguire, Tarkowski, Shaw
Defence would be the bedrock of Dyche's system at United, with Harry Maguire playing a leading role in the back line. He'll be partnered by compatriot James Tarkowski, as the pair are tasked with getting their heads on anything and everything that comes their way. Luke Shaw remains the perfect full-back on the left-hand side (if he can stay fit), while Noussair Mazraoui will provide grit and determination over on the opposite flank.

Midfield: Fernandes, Ugarte, Anderson, Amad
It's been a while since any top team opted for a traditional four in midfield set-up, with managers having strayed away from that in recent years. While not his usual position, Bruno Fernandes could find joy operating on the right-hand side, with Amad Diallo deployed as a more conventional winger off the left. The centre of the park is packed with two workhorses in the shape of current United ace Manuel Ugarte and Nottingham Forest's Elliot Anderson, who has shone for the Tricky Trees this term.
Attack: Delap, Calvert-Lewin
And finally, the tip of the attack. While there were no suitable candidates for a real 'big man, little man' centre-forward duo, combining the athleticism of Liam Delap with the dominating figure of Dominic Calvert-Lewin could present defenders with nightmares. Just imagine the crosses coming in from Fernandes towards these two monsters in the box.
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